Emotionally Drained

Moving, especially moving overseas, can be all-consuming. It's no wonder that it nearly tops the list of major stressors. Not that it's necessarily bad stress, but it can be draining if it's not managed.

When I first tell acquaintances that I'm moving, I usually get a reaction akin to, "That's cool!" While I appreciate such comments, it's usually uttered by someone who has no idea what really goes into implementing this kind of change. Those people might think they want to be me, but probably they would gladly stay put when they find out what it's really like. You don't want to be me right now. I'm exhausted all the time!

Yet, I still have trouble sleeping. My mind is always racing, and I have to take an Ambien CR every night just to get some much-needed shuteye. Even then, I'm up 7 hours later.

It's really a myriad of thoughts and emotions that run through my head. I wonder what our flat will be like. I worry that I won't be able to get along with the household help or the nanny. I worry that the other expats will hate me after a while. I worry that my son will dart into traffic and get hit by a car. (We're not used to city life.) Most of all, I hate leaving friends and family behind, even though I know I'll make new ones. I want to just be able to enjoy the moments we have and not waste time being maudlin while I'm still here.

I did have a wonderful lunch with a friend yesterday. We took our kids had a nice time chatting over food. When I talk about appreciating the time we have, those are the kinds of things I'm talking about. It was really refreshing to not have to think so much and just enjoy ourselves.

It's not all negative thoughts. I'm also curious about what it's really like over there. I'm excited to be taking on this new adventure. Reading about India is fun, but it isn't the same as actually being there.

Speaking of books, I'm really getting into Sarah MacDonald's Holy Cow. She's got such a way with words! The book is by an Australian author and tells about her experiences while living in Dehli. I highly recommend it! Of course, it's really helpful as a guidebook if you're going through a similar experience, but it's also just plain fun reading if you're not.

I must go for now. There will be more later!